Failure

My first month at this job, I took care of a girl getting a bone marrow transplant. She developed graft vs. host disease, and her body, trying to defend itself, began attacking the foreign marrow. A year and a half later her body is swollen and her skin is dark; she is completely unrecognizable. Her liver has given up, causing inconsolable itching. Her kidneys have quit, causing excess fluid to pool around her heart and lungs. She can't talk. She struggles to breathe. She moans in her sleep. Her end is miserable. Her body has failed her. And even though I know it's not true, I can't help but feel I have failed her, too.